i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
