Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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