if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
This is the prime rib incident all over again
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
