i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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