His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
