got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
