Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
