Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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