how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
