So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
