SEEEEXXX PLEASE
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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