So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
