I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
