Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
