I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
