she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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