the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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