I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
you had me at cake vodka
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
His nipple licking is glorious
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