I want to stick my p in your. b.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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