Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
where are my eyebrows?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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