I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
