he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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