i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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