Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
