Farmville is her only friend.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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