Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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