I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
