So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
