K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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