I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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