I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
