Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
