She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
