What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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