They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
