but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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