He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Your dad touched me again.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize