I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
