I only kidnapped one of them. chill
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize