Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
