and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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