Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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