If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
