She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
