we have officially mastered the walk of shame
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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