it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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