i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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