and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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