i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
