I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
