We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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