This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
