I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
