he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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