so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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