What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
