If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
