...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
