I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
