i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
How does it feel to date your dad?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
