She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
