ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just threw up on my dentist
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
