69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
