I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
