dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
We need to feng shui this bitch.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
