I accidentally burped into my bong.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
