Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
