Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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