No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
