I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
