2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
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