it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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