and you said cock pushups were impossible
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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