...so i touched it.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He's a Shit stain on my heart
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
