HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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