She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
She told me I should be a condom model.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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