M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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