I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
